From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep

 

I’ll be there by your side, just you try and stop me

 

I’ll be waiting in line, just to see if you care

 

Oh! Did you want me to change? Well I changed for good

 

I want you to know that you’ll always get your way I wanted to say

 

Don’t you shiver, shiver

 

Sing it loud and clear

 

I’ll always be waiting for you

 

–Shiver – Coldplay

 

---

 

Hours later we are racing through Bridgetown towards our beachfront accommodation at Sugar Hill. Kate’s parents have booked exclusive use of a five bedroom villa with beachfront views and a private pool. On arriving we settle into our room and take a quick shower before meeting everyone downstairs for cocktails. A gentle breeze coming off the water provides welcome relief from the heat as we sit out in the evening air.

 

“You kids settle in alright?” Kate’s mom asks as she hands me a gin and tonic.

 

“Yes, thank you Mrs Kavanagh. This is a beautiful location.” Taking Kate’s hand I stare out towards the ocean with a smile. I just hope something magical can happen here.

 

“Please, Elliot, call me Julie.” She grins at us indulgently as if seeing something special for the first time. I want to believe that she is but I can feel Kate’s heart is not in it.

 

“Okay…Julie. Thanks again for allowing me to tag along.” Not that I gave you any choice.

 

“Yes, well, I don’t think Kate would have had it any other way.” Sam sounds pretty gruff and disapproving which I will put down to protectiveness of his baby girl. Today has proven to me that Sam Kavanagh is far from okay with me and Kate, in spite of the show he put on for my folks last night. It could just be about us sharing a room or the speed of our relationship. If he only knew how much Kate is holding back.

 

“Daddy, please. Be nice.” Don’t waste your breath, Kate. Sam I can handle, it is Kate that I worry about. Since last night all I can think about is how she is stepping into the firing line by being with me. I don’t want her hurt and it seems that my past indiscretions and our relationship has painted a target on her back. Being here doesn’t seem like the smartest move I have ever made.

 

“Now – the house chef is cooking up a light meal tonight for us to eat in. I figure we should take it easy tonight before we start sightseeing tomorrow. Or whatever it is that y’all want to do.” Julie’s soft southern tones are a calming influence. She smiles at us – a lot.

 

“Sounds great, Mom.” Kate takes a deep sip of her drink. “Oh, that is so good.”

 

Ethan wanders out to the alfresco and picks up his drink. “Oh, nice, that hits the spot.” He grins at us all. “Well, I wonder what the poor people are doing?”

 

“I think they are all on Haiti.” They all look at me with their mouths open. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…its just that I spent three months with my crew on Haiti helping with the rebuild after the earthquake. I keep meaning to find a way to get back there but I just haven’t been able to find a gap in my calendar. I sometimes feel a bit guilty.”

 

“I know what you mean.” Kate replies, “The paper rallied for food and clothing donations from students and their families immediately after the quake. After two months Kavanagh Media funded a group of us to go down there to help out as Red Cross volunteers for two weeks. We ran features on it for a month after we got back but I have always felt bad that I haven’t been able to go back. How did you fund it?”

 

“James and I paid everyone’s travel expenses and Christian paid their wages while they were there plus materials for the build. He came down for a few weeks as well. That was about a year ago after a large part of the clean up had already been done. The rebuilding program is ongoing. It will be years before they recover from what they lost and there are still so many people in camps waiting for permanent housing. We rotate a crew through there every four months for a couple of weeks to be part of the process but in that first wave we took five crews down.”

 

“How many crews do you have?” Ethan hands out a bowl of nuts to me. I take a few.

 

“Seven or eight depending on the market. At the moment there seven permanent crews of about four people and then we hire in casuals on top of that. At the moment I’ve got 3 major developments on the go so we have hired in another 25 guys to take up the slack.”

 

“Impressive. How do you maintain the green agenda with that many projects at once?” Ethan asks.

 

And then we are off into a discussion of my favorite topic. Julie and Ethan are grilling me as if I am going for a job interview, which I guess in a sense I am given ultimately I want to be with Kate. She joins in with great interest to both support and interrogate me but I notice that Sam sits back for most of the conversation and observes as if he is waiting for me to trip up. It’s unnerving. Eventually we move inside the villa for dinner and Julie leans over to me at the table.

 

“Elliot, you have the same cross as Kate. Are you religious?” she asks. I had forgotten that she had given me the necklace and I glance at her as I finger it gently before I reply.

 

“No, this is Kate’s. I forgot to give it back to her.” Julie’s eyes widen as I unclasps it and stand up to refasten it around Kate’s neck. “Thanks babe.” I lean over and give her a quick peck on the cheek.

 

“You didn’t answer my question, Elliot. Are you a religious man?” Julie looks up at me expectantly.

 

“Not particularly, I prefer to think of myself as ethical and rather than spiritual.” I am trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

 

“A good answer my boy.” Sam offers with an approving smile. “Too many wars are fought in the name of organized religion but I will not deny my wife’s right to believe in a higher power. I think I have found myself thanking a deity once or twice in my life.” We all laugh at the innuendo and I relax back in my chair. For a moment I make the mistake of thinking Sam is easing up on me. Then I catch a darker look in his eyes. You haven’t finished testing me yet, have you, Sam?

 

After dinner, Kate and I elect to go for a swim in the pool. Ethan joins us for a while and we talk more about the Seattle music scene, trading tales about gigs we have seen over the years. We all like similar music and find that we have been to many of the same concerts over the past couple of years. I wish I had known you earlier, Kate but then I wouldn’t have been ready for you. I would have completely blown it by being an asshole and cheating on you. It would have destroyed you. She knows this. I am going to have to work harder to make her believe in me.

 

She swims over to me moving in front of my body leaning back against me as we all talk. I immediately harden which she aggravates by rubbing her bikini clad cheeks against me. I groan a whisper in my ear, “I know what you are doing?”

 

Julie chooses that moment to walk out and sit down on the side of the pool dangling her feet in the water. Kate tries to move away from me but I grab her and pull her back in front of me. Feeling awkward I realize that I can’t get out of the water and my little minx is cuddling into my body making it worse. I flash Ethan a desperate look. Grinning he finally talks Julie into going for a walk down to the beach.

 

“Shit, I thought they would never go.” I let out a long breath. “Jesus Katie, what you do to me.”

 

“And what would that be Mr Grey,” she whispers coquettishly, batting her eyelashes at me before swimming away. Shaking my head with a moan, I swim after her, pull her under the water and plant my lips firmly on hers letting her feel the full force of my need. We emerge out of the water to take in air hardly break from our passionate kiss. She wraps herself around me grinding her pelvis into mine. I reach down to sweep her bikini bottoms aside and thrust my fingers into her warm walls. Her gasp says it all as I push two fingers inside her and quickly flick her clit. Her need must have been hovering all day because she detonates quickly around my fingers. Her urgent hands release me from my shorts and she impales herself on me. The pent up frustration of the plane trip and the last couple of hours of making nice with her family have added up to the need for an incredibly quick and powerful release.
We take our time coming down from our orgasms, our arms wrapped around each other and foreheads pressed together.

 

“Jesus, Katie, you are making a believer out of me.” I smile and she giggles. “That is the sweetest, goddamn sound in the world, you know that?” Still holding her close we kiss.

 

“Let’s get out of here and go continue your conversion up in our room.” She whispers into my mouth. We pull ourselves together and move quickly through the villa to our room. Within seconds we are naked and on the bed kissing. Her soft golden skin glistens with a light sheen of perspiration and I love how she is completely comfortable with her body. The mountain of soft white pillows provide a prop that I lean myself back against while Kate straddles my lap. Lowering herself down on me her hands are fastened to my face as she kisses me thrusting her tongue inside my mouth.

 

Moving together in a slow languid motion our bodies don’t take long to become slick with sweat. I hold her hips watching her carefully as her passion rises. A quick flick of my thumb over her stiff little nub and she takes me with her into an incredibly intense and explosive ripple of orgasm that leaves us both breathless. Once again I am struck by how perfect she is for me. How perfect we are together. I need to be perfect for her.

 

Holding her firmly against my body we lounge back with me still inside her. I sense that it won’t be long before I am hard again and it amazes me how ready she is as well. Our hearts are both calming down slowly but still pounding as she lifts her head and begins to plant soft wet kisses on my chest. I roll her on to her back and thrust hard into her, slamming against her in long slow strokes of desperate need. She is with me all the way, pushing back and calling out my name as she comes. Two more thrusts and I join her.

 

“Katie! Oh fuck!” I am trying not to collapse my weight on top of her I pull out to roll onto my back taking her with me. “Woman, if you keep this up you are going to put me in hospital.”

 

“What, feeling the burn Mr Grey? Must be your extreme old age that is making it difficult for you to keep up.” I laugh with my hand over my eyes. For the first time I am actually feeling our age difference. Not that it is huge but I am aware that it is a bigger difference for us than for Christian and Ana.

 

“Twenty nine is not old, thank you very much. I can’t help it if you require a more experienced man.”

 

“Yes you have eight years more experience than me. You really are old, aren’t you? Cradle robber.” She laughs hitting me with a pillow. Fending it easily I push her back to tickle her making her giggle and breathe hard then I kiss her and look at her seriously.

 

“Age doesn’t really make a difference does it?”

 

“No, I love a man with experience.” Instantly, a shadow passes over both of us. The fucking white elephant in the room. My experience, my reputation. She is so young, starting out in her adult life and I am smothering her. Wanting something that she isn’t ready for. She has a career path that she has been planning for most of her life. Everything is mapped out and settling down is not part of that yet. Even if she was ready, she doesn’t believe that I am and why should she? Nothing in my life has led anyone to the conclusion that I would want a commitment. Hell, even my own father has questioned whether I could be faithful. What a fucking mess.

 

I get up off the bed and go through to the bathroom. Part of me doesn’t want to have this discussion now and ruin our holiday. I take a quick shower and do my teeth, donning boxers before moving back into the room to see that she hasn’t moved. Lying still with her arm across her face for a moment I think she has gone to sleep. Then I notice her tears.