I’ve had enough of that
With other loves in days gone by
It wasn’t much I know
Mmm just enough, enough to make me cry

If you leave me, can I come too?
We can always stay
But if you leave me, can I come too?
And if you go, can I come too?

Mental as Anything – If You Leave Me Can I Come Too

It’s 3 am.  My body is wrapped around his and he is all warmth and muscle. I want to stay here snuggled into him but I have needs.

Carefully extracting myself from his heat, I get up and throw a dress over my head. If Ana is walking about out there she doesn’t need to have the trauma of seeing a naked flatmate.

After stopping at the bathroom, I head out to the kitchen in search of a glass of water. My curiosity gets the better of me and I quickly go down to Ana’s bedroom to check if she’s home.  Shit, dirty little stop out. Moving quickly back to the kitchen I flick the light on and glance around looking for my phone.  Seeing it on the table, I snatch it up and quickly check it for messages before realizing this isn’t my phone; it’s Elliot’s. Hell, we even have the same taste in gadgetry. I idly wonder if he uses a Mac or a PC or if he is attached at the hip to an iPad, the way I am.

Having woken up the screen, it goes to the received calls list automatically. The last number to dial Elliot is a number I know…well. WTF?  What the hell are you up to Daddy? I look up to see a sleepy Elliot wander into the room wearing only boxer shorts. He’s that heady combination of tree trunk thighs and bed hair. Rubbing his eyes he looks at me.

“You weren’t in bed. I missed you.” He yawns. “Come back to bed, baby.”

You’re not getting off that easily, you…you…sex God. “Elliot, why did my father call you?” Instant wake up call.

“It was nothing, honestly. I don’t even really remember what we spoke about.” Yeah and I’m the Sugar Plum Fairy. If it looks like shit and smells like shit…

“I suggest you recover that memory, sunshine, my father doesn’t call random one night stands to check on my welfare.”  If I’m not mistaken steam might be about to come out of his ears.

“Maybe he should. And since when did this become a random one night stand?”

“Since you started lying to me.  How did he even know about you?” I throw the accusation down like a gauntlet and wait for him to pick it up or leave.  If he doesn’t want an interrogation, he might as well head back to Seattle now.

“Babe, I don’t know. He was checking up on his baby girl, I guess? Just being a good father.”  Your lips are moving, Grey, but there’s only bullshit hitting the airwaves.

“You’re hiding something Grey, spill.” I stand with my hands on my hips and wait patiently. This I’m good at; staring down an answer. You are going to tell me and you are going to be forthcoming with it.  There’s a momentary standoff before he walks over to the arm of the couch and perches his pert butt.

“OK. He seems to think that Christian and I are going to be a problem for you. I don’t know what he thinks he knows but it’s probably pretty far from the truth. I think he’s just fishing to see if I’m worthy of you.” His hands reach up and start to pull me in towards his body but  I push back. He looks genuinely confused.

“Did he threaten you?” Do you really want to know, Kate?  You want him to run screaming for the hills?  Although, the thought of it makes me smile a little inside. I can see the byline

Blonde Greek Adonis, last seen hysterically climbing Mt St Helens!

“No. He’s a rank amateur compared to you when it comes to threats.” He smiles at me.

“What do you mean? I would never threaten you.”

“Baby, you threatened to remove precious body parts with a kitchen implement and mail them to my brother, if I remember correctly.” He chuckles.

Shit how much did I have to drink? I vaguely recall the threat. Oh I am a nasty drunk. Suddenly I am in his arms as he holds me very tenderly and strokes my hair.

“Katie, you were protecting your friend. An admirable trait. Your father is just trying to protect you. Also an admirable trait. If between the two of you I can come out of this with my tackle intact then I will be a happy man.” How can he crack jokes when my father has done this? A horrible vision of them meeting for the first time flashes in my mind.  Oh, I feel ill.

I pull out of his embrace. “I need to find my phone. Ana hasn’t come home.”

He tenses up for a moment. “I’m sure that they’re fine. They are both consenting adults.” But the look on his face doesn’t say ‘fine’. His face says anything but ‘fine’.

Phone! I walk out and find my handbag hanging in the hall and return to the lounge, rummaging inside it for my phone. In one of those incredibly smooth moves I manage to up-end most of the contents onto the coffee table. I pick out my phone from amongst the rubble and begin scrolling through the messages. There are none from Ana so I send a quick ‘RUOK?’. When I look up, Elliot is holding a piece of paper in his hand looking pissed off.

“When were you going to tell me about this?” he asks, quietly. My itinerary for Barbados is in his hands. Shit! With the way everything in my world has shifted on its access in the last 24 hours I had forgotten.

“Elliot, I’m sorry. I forgot all about it. My mother booked this months ago.” I whisper.

“Shit, Kate, we’ve only just started this and now you’re going to take a break? For what? Two weeks? Fuck.” He looks really hurt. We’re both quiet, processing how irrational it is to feel so bereft after such a short time. Eventually, he speaks again, “I’m sorry baby, I just wanted to have you to myself for a bit longer. Would I be a complete ass if I said I don’t want you to go?”

“You’re a complete ass without saying anything at all.  I’ve been looking forward to this for months and now I don’t want to go either.” I step into his arms and he drops the paper on the table, wrapping me up in a warm Elliot-is-the-sun embrace. When I look up at him I see the disappointment writ large on his face. He closes his eyes and kisses me gently before pulling back to look at me.

“I’m sorry. I’m being a complete prat. You deserve a holiday and you and I can wait. I will miss you though.” His eyes are looking directly into mine and I’m locked in his gorgeous blue gaze. How did this happen? How can it be that I don’t want to spend more than a few hours apart from him? This holiday suddenly feels like a jail sentence.

“Can I pack you in my suitcase? Hide you in my bed?”

“Mmm…can I pretend to be a pair of your scandalous panties?” At least we’re still laughing even though we’re both feeling pretty crap.

“Come with me.” The words are out of my mouth before I can vet them. Shit, how needy am I? I’ve known him for, what? Ten minutes? And I’m inviting him on a family holiday. My parents will freak! He will freak! Humiliation and embarrassment rush over me and I’m afraid to open my eyes again.  When I do, he’s looking at me with a big wide ‘I-just-got-what-I-want-for-Christmas’ smile.  I’m almost afraid to ask.  “You want to come with me?”

Holding me at arms length so that he can look at me his expression is serious and I can almost see the hamster spinning the wheel inside his brain.

“Babe, I understand if you want to retract that offer but just hear me out for a moment. Your dad is already worried about us. I would welcome the opportunity to show him that I’m deadly serious about you. I want to meet your family and the sooner the better. And then there’s you and me.  I mean, fuck, babe, I’m pretty sure you’re feeling as intense about this as I am. I just… oh hell, I feel like we need time to explore what’s happening between us and it would be so good to do that away from the rest of the world, you know?  If we’re here it won’t take long for paps to be all over this thing with Christian and Ana and we’ll get pulled in by association.  Plus, I think if we get out of their way, then maybe…”

It was a long speech, very heartfelt. I sink onto a dining room chair as Elliot releases me. He pulls up opposite me and takes my hand, turning it over in his. He wants to meet my family, he wants to explore us and he wants to give Christian and Ana some space. This beautiful, sex God with the less than stellar reputation as a man whore is suddenly making me the center of his universe and I’m going to let him. Fuck! I’m going to let him!

This shouldn’t be happening. We should not be falling so hard so fast. We’re both intelligent, attractive, well-connected and experienced people who know fake when it bites us on the ass. We both have reputations as players so why the angst?  He’s just my new shiny toy, right?  We’ll both be bored within two weeks so I guess if we’re on holiday it won’t matter as much. What will my parents say? They will hate this. And what if it doesn’t work out? Will I come home from my lovely holiday a shattered mess? What a great way to start a new phase of my life? Draped in pink flannel and melted chocolate.

The alternative would be spending every day of my sun-filled holiday wishing he was there. Running up hideous phone bills talking to each other and being immersed in self-induced loneliness and longing. That’s no way to have a holiday either. The it hits me.

“I need to cancel this holiday. I need to stay here for Ana. She’s going to need me.” I’m suddenly feeling very decisive about this.

“WHAT? NO! Baby, Christian and Ana need space and time with no interference.” He sounds a little desperate.  What are you hiding Grey?

“I don’t actually give a fuck what Christian needs. Ana needs me.” I snap back.

“Katie, be reasonable. Ana’s a grown up. She’ll work this out and you’re only going to be gone two weeks. What is the worst that could happen? They don’t work out and she’s lonely for a week or so.” He’s pretty convincing. Perhaps I am overreacting. Ana might be inexperienced but she’s an intelligent person. There is no way that she will get suckered by Christian Grey while I’m away. She’ll insist on taking it slow and protecting herself.  Okay, smart ass. If she’s taking it slow then why hasn’t she come home? Ana is your friend not your problem. She won’t thank you for interfering. Go – holiday – sun, surf, beach, Greek Adonis – what more could you want?

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Okay?” he asks, holding my hands and peering into my eyes.

“Mm mm” I nod my head looking directly at him. He pulls me onto his lap and gives me a very thorough kissing with hands running through my hair.

“Dear God, I thought you were going to say no. You certainly had me on edge.”

“Well, you know what they say, if you’re not on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.  But, if you come with me then you are totally with me. None of this bullshit about keeping an honorable distance and pretending to my parents that we aren’t sleeping together. If we do this, it is a full on Kate-and-Elliot holiday or you might as well stay home.” I’m trying to be very strong about this. He just looks at me with shock and awe for a moment and then grins.

“Baby, I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Oh crap, if my father doesn’t string him up by his balls, my brother will.

 

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