Chapter 21: No Way

When the daylight comes
Do you feel it?
Leave your bag of bones
Underneath your bed
Everything is as
It should be
I’m leaving now
As I should be

No way, no way
No we’re never gonna talk about it
No way, no way
No we’re never gonna speak again
No way, no way
No we’re never gonna talk about it
No way, no way

When the night descends
I sleep in
All the things you’ve done
Come to hold me
All that we can do
Is smile
It would be like this
For a while

No way, no way
No we’re never gonna talk about it
No way, no way
No we’re never gonna speak again
No way, no way
No we’re never gonna talk about it
No way, no way

I’m not sad, really
All this means, losing
Letting go, oo-oo
Dont look out, oo-oo
No way, no way, no way

The Naked and FamousNo Way

Ana’s text came through at around 7pm.

Kate on a bender. Think she might need you. Zig Zag. Ana

Luckily, Kate’s place is not far from the bar and it doesn’t take me long to get there. I don’t know when my life became so focused on keeping someone else safe and happy but I know that I wouldn’t want it any other way. I just hope that Kate understands that I am trying to do what is best for her. Best for us.

When I enter the bar I take a moment to look around. Breathing a sigh of relief, I acknowledge Luke Sawyer with a nod but I don’t know the woman next to him. She is clearly part of the security detail. That must mean that Ana and Kate are nearby. Luke indicates to his immediate left where Kate is hanging off some guy with her back to me, her arm draped around his neck as she whispers in his ear. Fuck! The guy is starting to grope her as his friends laugh and look on. Luke moves when the guy’s hand goes to Kate’s ass but Ana holds her hand up to stop him as she catches my eye. I nod and move towards them slowly. Luke steps back as I approach.

Kate giggles when she’s drunk…a lot! Her demeanor is cute and flirtatious and she has this guy completely besotted, probably thinking that he has every chance of nailing her. I recognize his lust as she presses her tits into his arm and runs her hand over his. Reaching for her drink gives him the perfect view down her top and she knows it. The poor guy doesn’t stand a chance. He is fairly salivating and her sexy little giggle seems to be hitting him straight in the groin. Hell, watching her in action is turning me on!

The guy looks like he is about to come in his pants. Time to put you out of your misery. I approach her from behind and wrap my arms around her waist. It seems that she is neither surprised nor annoyed that I would turn up like this which is promising. I know she needed this night with Ana, hell I think she even needed to get drunk, but I don’t think it will solve any of the problems that are brewing. Something subtle has shifted inside her that I am not even sure she is aware of.

We both tease the poor sap, who looks horrified that I would share my woman. If it would make her happy I think I would do anything right now. However, this guy and this moment are not right. Perhaps later, if that is her fantasy, if it would bring her back to me emotionally, then I will help her fulfill it. I don’t know exactly how to help her but I know I am never going to give up trying. What has me pissed off is this self destruct mode that she is in. I know she is holding back, even though we talked the other night but since then she has clammed up and she won’t tell me what she is feeling. I am also pissed off at this prick for rejecting her. He has no understanding of what it takes to make someone completely happy.

Outside the bar she mistakes my anger as being directed at her. This is frustrating. I am not hurt by anything she has done tonight although I wish she would be more careful. I am angry that I can’t break through. I am angry that some little pissant has called her weird to her face. I am angry that there is so little I can do to help her with her pain and I am frustrated that there is so much that she refuses to talk about.

When we get home to the apartment there is yet another shift. One where she thinks she is going to push me away. We are so far beyond that now. If I have to pull the dominant on her then I will. I will go to my little brother and get fucking lessons if I have to. There is no way that she and I are going to be apart now. I have shut all thoughts of the threat from Linc and Hyde away in a little box in my mind to deal with what is happening now but somehow, I am going to eliminate that threat so that they can’t keep us apart either.

By the time I get back from walking Zeus she has become compliant, even cheekily submissive and if it weren’t for the fact that she is still recovering from the miscarriage then I would jump her right now. She has no idea how cute those pjs are and how any and all attempts to bend to my wishes is such a huge fucking turn on. I love it when she places her trust in me to know what is good for her. To know what she needs. But this is just the calm before the emotional storm.

The doctor’s appointment the next morning completely undoes me. Kate is recovering well physically and I guess I expected that she would be hesitant about the anti-depressants. But when she tells Dr Greene that she doesn’t want kids I feel like a well has opened up in my heart. I thought maybe it would take some time but she is acting like this is forever. Right now I believe she means it but I hope like hell that this is simply fear talking. Of course, knowing Kate the way I do, there is every chance that this will become another weapon to drive a wedge between us later when she gets scared. I won’t let that happen. Kids or no kids, she is mine and more importantly, I am hers, body, heart and soul.

Later in the day I drop by Dad’s office to get him to check out some contracts. He is out to lunch, I assume with a client so I drop the papers and head out of the building to go back to work. I am about half way to the truck when I literally collide with Elena Lincoln. She is looking drawn, not her usual stylish self.

“Elliot, sorry I didn’t see you there. I guess I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going.” What the fuck? Elena is apologizing to me? Did I miss the apocalypse or something?

“Elena, um, hi, how are you?” Be polite, she might be the devil’s spawn but she is still a human being, sort of.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to Elliot.” There is the scowl that tells me the old Elena is lurking deep inside. “How is your mother?”

“Disappointed, hurt, angry but she seems to be coping.” Elena looks at the ground with something that passes for remorse working its way across her expression. I am more than a little curious as to why she should be here. This isn’t where her business is located. Surely she isn’t hoping to run into my father as a way of getting back inside the Grey family circle?

“And Kate? How is she?” Now she is just trying deliberately to piss me off.

“Stay the fuck away from her, Elena. Kate is none of your business.” My rage is simmering under the surface. Fucking, interfering bitch. I don’t know how she worked out what had happened with the baby but I will never trust her.

“Don’t start, Elliot. I was genuinely concerned for her welfare and I am so terribly sorry that you have lost your baby.” Don’t smack the bitch!

“Save the sympathy Elena.” Her concern might be genuine but her motives won’t be. “Leave Kate the fuck alone.”

“I have no intention of calling her again. She made herself quite clear on the phone.” She almost looks sad as she says this.

Elena glances over my shoulder and her body goes rigid. Something or someone over the road has caught her attention and her discomfort evident. I shift my focus to where she is staring and see my father walking back toward his office with Kate by his side. What the fuck? When they get to the front of the building Kate hands a folder to him which he pushes back into her hands. Then he leans over and gives Kate a kiss on the cheek. Elena gives an audible gasp beside me that draws my attention her way. Her look is a mixture of frightened and angry.

“What are you doing here anyway, Elena?” This whole situation is really starting to stink. Her lips are pursed into a thin angry line and for once she is really looking her age.

“I am here to see your father. Not that it is any business of yours.” Her heels tap a military tattoo on the bitumen as she stalks across the street away from me. It takes a moment to react and then I am on the move after her. There is no way that she is going to start a show down with Kate today.

“Elena, wait!” Ignoring me, she almost gets hit by a car as it screams to a halt, the driver leaning on his horn. Raising a hand in apology I grab her arm and move her to the pavement arriving in front of a shocked Dad and a horrified Kate. Kate looks ready to kill someone, and unfortunately it looks as if that someone might be me.

“Elena, I told you to leave me alone.” Kate’s tone is pure venom and Elena has the good sense to step back.

“I’m not here to talk with you Kate although once more I am sorry for your loss.” Kate’s mouth drops open, I breath in sharply and Dad raises his eyebrow, holding back the question on his lips. “Carrick, darling, shall we?”

It takes a moment for him to react and then he steps back with his arm out to usher her through the doors of his office. “Please, after you, Elena.” She pushes past and heads through the revolving doors while Dad hangs back and looks at us. “Kate, thank you for lunch, I hope that whatever Elena is referring to is not too personal a matter. Son, I would like to see you this evening if I may. Drinks at the Rainier, say 6.30?”

I nod and then he is gone, collecting Elena in the foyer and herding her through to the lift. Kate and I face each other, she with more questions in her eyes.

“Are you going to tell me what you were doing with my father?” Offense is the best defense.

“Are you going to tell me what you were doing with that bitch?” Unless of course you have managed to inadvertently incriminate yourself. Guilty until proven innocent.

“I was here earlier dropping some contracts into Dad to check. He was out. Apparently with you. I literally walked into Elena on my way back to the truck. I followed her back across here because I didn’t want her to upset you.”

There is a moment of hesitation and then I see when she believes me. We both let out our breaths.

“Well, I found some stuff out that I needed to talk to your Dad about. In private. We had lunch, I showed him what I had found and he let me ask some questions.” Ah, the mysterious folder. I work this through in my mind. Young and talented intern, needing a break to impress her supervisors. Shit!

“Are you going to run a story on him?” I am dreading the answer to this. Please don’t use our family as fodder for your career, Kate. As tempting as it may be.

“What? No! Fuck, Elliot, I just wanted to show him what I found so that he would know.”

“What was it Kate? What was so god damn important that you felt you had to go behind my back and talk to my father in private?”

“If you want to know, ask him.” Good girl. Once more I release the breath I have been holding.

“Or do I just wait until it hits the papers tomorrow?” I see when this becomes one accusation too many. She pokes her in-need-of-a-manicure fingernail into my chest. This is the most emotion I have seen from her in days.

“I’m not putting up with this shit. Your father is neither a source nor a feature to me. I am doing this for you, you lousy shit. I am trying to help you sort out the crap you have brought down on this family with fucking Linc and Jack and to find a way to protect the people you love. What the fuck are you doing about it?” Her body is poised in anger as she stands up to me and I have never seen anything more sexy in my life. She is fucking amazing.

“Loving you. Because I know that you can do this. Because if anyone can work this out it will be you. Because I have no fucking choice but to adore you. I need you.” All of my muscles are on high alert getting ready to chase after her and stop her in the street if she turns and runs. Instead she steps into my arms and presses her body and lips against mine. Our tongues wrestle for supremacy, it is the most passionate we have been with each other in two weeks and we are in the middle of the main street, outside the prestigious law firm where my father is a partner, sucking face like there is no tomorrow. A flutter of applause erupts spontaneously around us as we pull apart.

Smiling shyly Kate snuggles into my chest to hide her embarrassment and I wrap my arms around her protectively. “Can I walk you back to your office, Miss Kavanagh?” She nods and we walk away, our arms around each other, the appreciative audience looking after us.

As we arrive at her building I feel the tension re-enter her body and that same sense of her pulling away emotionally again. I wonder if work is offering her the challenge and solace that she needs. There must be so much pressure being Sam’s daughter and starting at the bottom. One great expose on the Grey family would give her career such a boost. Somehow I think that her inability to want to cross that particular line has both surprised and disoriented her. She is not quite as opportunistic and hard-nosed as she would like to think. However she is tenacious and I am sure we can find a way to make use of that.

“Kate, I would like you to come with me this evening.” I look into her eyes, trying to get some reassurance that she is still with me.

“No, I think you need to have this conversation alone. Perhaps I could join you later for dinner.” All the right words are coming out of her mouth but her eyes have gone blank again. Fuck! Don’t go baby.

“Sure, how about I call you when I finish with Dad and you can decide if you’re feeling up to it.” She nods then leans in to peck me on the lips before turning to walk into the building, clutching the folder to her chest. Damn.

The rest of my afternoon is spent out at Christian’s new house, talking with him about materials. I expected a thorough discussion of his design needs but he insists that Ana be the one to make those decisions and he wants me to set up a meeting with Gia. Interesting that Ana is being given so much input when he has never felt the need to get much in the way of advice from any of us before. Her influence with him knows no bounds and I feel both proud and resentful of Ana’s progress with him.

Dad stands and greets me as I walk into the Rainier. The place is the favored watering hole for professionals pretending to relax and unwind while continuing to network. So many backroom deals and out of court settlements are done in these rooms it is a wonder anyone ever makes it to court. We sit in a secluded booth, surrounded by opulence and the smell of alcohol and leather. Dad orders us a bottle of ’08 Tinto Pesquera and we make small talk until the wine is served.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” My curiosity has been piqued all afternoon and I am barely holding back the urge to shake the information out of him. He takes a long sip of the wine, letting it swirl around his mouth as he seems to contemplate how to begin.

“Your Kate is very talented and thorough in her research.”

“The way I understand it, the evidence she has found is really a matter of public record and anyone could have discovered it.” He tilts his head and looks at me.

“She hasn’t told you anything, has she?” I hold his stare for a while and then shake my head as I look down into my glass. No, she hasn’t told me anything. Obviously, not the evidence that has my father tapping the side of his glass nervously as he thinks.

“No. She said that only Mom’s name is on the adoption record for Mia. That is the only information she has shared with me.” I leave the question hanging unsaid between us. Hopefully, he will take it up.

“Kate is in a position of immense power over our family right now. Do you think that she is going to try to get a story out of this?”

“Is this what you wanted to discuss with me? You want to know if you can trust Kate? What the hell is this about Dad? Why are you being so fucking evasive?” After the last few weeks I am exhausted and this conversation is pissing me off. I don’t want to feel like this about my Dad but if it came down to a choice between Kate and the family right now, well…

“Look, Elliot. I could tell you my part in all of this but not without hurting other people. Needless to say, my concerns are not about me, they are about your mother and your sister.” This pulls me up short. We both sit in silence for a moment, sipping our wine as I contemplate what he is not saying.

“So we are here to discuss nothing?” If he is going to be so fucking evasive, this meeting seems a little pointless. My mind wanders to Kate, wondering if she is home from work yet.

“Not exactly. I need to know if Kate will be discrete. Or do you think that she will try to run with this story.”

“Jesus, Dad. I don’t even know what this story is. Quite frankly, Kate and I have more things to worry about than Mia’s adoption records. So unless you are going to tell me what this is about then I am going home.” I throw back the contents of my glass before thumping it down on the table.

“Wait a minute, son. Tell me what is happening with Linc and Jack Hyde.” Our lives have been so preoccupied with the baby that I haven’t told Dad anything about what happened at Sirens. That all seems like such a long time ago.

“We tried to get more information at Sirens. It seems Jack and Linc are definitely associated but we don’t know how. Jack was chased out of town that night. We had him convinced that he had pissed Linc off enough that he should leave but we know that he has been back since. He was seen in the grounds of Bellevue the night of Christian’s party.”

“Fuck, Elliot. Why didn’t you tell us? Does Christian know?”

“No. Kate and I have had some other personal issues that have come up that kind of took precedence over this whole thing. I’m sorry but she is my first priority right now.”

“I take it you aren’t going to tell me what is going on with you and Kate.” For a moment I consider opening up to him. We have always been close, except for that short period of rebellion towards the end of my high school years. It feels wrong to keep this from him but I wonder what purpose it would serve to tell him and I can’t betray Kate. If we ever tell my parents then it has to come from both of us.

I shake my head. “Nothing that we won’t work out eventually.” I hope like hell that I am right about that.

“I see. Well, you might want to give your brother a heads up about Jack Hyde.” Why? So he can step in and take over the Hyde problem? What about the bigger problem of Linc? And how much do you want him to know about whatever shit you’re hiding from me now about Mom and Mia.

“Not going to happen. Jack has gone AWOL so until he shows up again there is nothing for Christian to know.” I hope I am not wrong about this. A conversation with Jason wouldn’t go astray right now but I don’t want to compromise Jason and Gail any more either.

“I’m not so sure about that. I wonder about the helicopter accident. I suspect that wasn’t an accident at all.” My eyes shoot to his. Fuck. This is news to me. “Do you know where Jack Hyde was prior to that incident?”

“We chased him out of town on the Thursday night. The helicopter went down on Friday. The surveillance team lost him just out of Portland so theoretically he could have doubled back straight away to tamper with Charlie Tango but we wouldn’t be able to confirm that.”

“What about Linc? Do you think there is any reason why he would do this?”

“There is motive but Linc wasn’t in great shape on Thursday night to have done it himself.” Linc was heavily drugged and out of action but it is still a possibility that he paid someone else to do his dirty work.

“Motive? Against Christian?” He seems a little incredulous.

“Think about it Dad. If Linc knew anything about Christian and Elena, don’t you think he might be carrying a grudge?” Since he and Mom have only just found out about this relationship it is understandable that he hasn’t made this link.

“Yes, I see your point. Although his need to damage the Grey family probably runs a little deeper than that.” He picks up the bottle and refills our glasses looking lost in thought.

“Meaning?” The bottle pauses mid-air before he resumes pouring.

“Oh, he was never happy about Elena’s friendship with your mother.”

“Why?” There is just enough hesitation in his answer for me to sense that he is fudging his answer.

“Let’s just say that he was jealous of anything that took Elena’s focus off him.”

“Do you think he was hitting her because she was friends with Mom?” My mother is such an angel. I can’t imagine anyone hating enough to take up domestic violence over a friendship with her.

“I think that his intolerance of most aspects of Elena’s personality went a lot deeper than just a friendship with your mother but yes, I do believe that he chose that as the justification for harming her. It was a very complex relationship but one that both Elena and your mother chose to foster for genuinely good intentions.”

“Yes, well, a bit of philanthropy doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to stay in a violent relationship.”

“That wasn’t the reason she stayed.” Once more his cryptic comments have me on high alert. Just then movement catches my eye and I look up to see my mother walking towards us. We both stand to greet her. Following in her wake, to my genuine surprise, is Kate, clutching her folder to her chest again.

“Darling, it is so wonderful to see you. Look who I ran into outside.” Mom gives one of her all encompassing smiles. Just as I think we are about to sit down, Dad signals to the maitre’d who comes forward and ushers us into one of the small private dining rooms. Once we are settled in with more wine I look from one face to the next.

“So, is anyone going to tell me what is going on?” I expect Dad or Kate to start the conversation but to my surprise it is my mother who speaks first.

“Sweetheart, Kate tells me that she has found Mia’s personal records.”

“Yeah, the adoption record only has your name on it.”

“Yes, well, there is a good reason for that.” Mom pauses for a moment and takes my hand. “You see, Carrick didn’t need to adopt Mia. He is Mia’s biological father.”

12 thoughts on “Chapter 21: No Way

  1. Kaz says:

    Double wow !! Loved Elliot’s pov about the bar. Love his reasoning about Kate. Love that he so gets her. Actually just love! Another excellent chapter. I am glad Grace seems to be in the know… Or is she?!


  2. 1klkelly says:

    I knew it! Excellent as usual, Sasha! I love how Elliott loves Kate. ;-p


  3. Atterbury ( Liz) says:

    Sasha, I had to read this twice, on FF then come here to where I think of as your home base. My insides are swirling around with empathy and concern for our special couple, but knots are forming with the last line? I love Grace, and if she is O.K. than I am sure I’ll adjust accordingly? You just never cease to amaze me with your plot innovations! I am awed by you once more! Happy New Year! You are a very special lady! XX, Liz


    • Once again, thank you so much Liz. I am humbled by your words. Especially when I have just been having fun playing with alternative motivations and story lines. I just hope that everyone is loving K & E as much as we do! Great to see you on fb. Love Sasha xoxo


  4. Sharon says:

    Geeeez…thought I had figured out where you were going, (and still think I’m partially right), but Carrick is unexpected. You are fitting your story in so well….my favorite Christmas gift! Thank you!! More, please. I’ll beg!


    • Thanks Sharon, glad it is offering some surprises for you. Picked up a story blunder last night in that K & E were present at the prenup conversation the day after Christians birthday, which is when I had them at the hospital. Can’t get everything right I suppose. More is definitely on the way!


  5. kaz says:

    Really hoping you do, do a Grace and Carrick story after, Ethan and Mia. You are my fav guilty pleasure ! When friends suggest chat and wine at weekends.. I think… kids in bed hubby watching sport.. wine and Sasha’s writing ! x


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