It’s quiet here today, where tears have left a stain
Time goes by still the room doesn’t make a sound
I’m feeling out of place, I’m needing to explain
I tried to fly, but my feet never left the ground

I know everybody sees it, feels it
When I look at you
I know you really feel it, I mean it
We cannot lose

What do I have to do? (cause I’d do anything)
To prove myself to you (and you mean everything)
I’m sorry girl for disappointing you
I’m still in love, you know I’m still in love with you
Now we can’t go back (cause I’d do anything)
I should have known that (and you mean everything)
I’m sorry girl. We need another chance
(I’m still in love, you know I’m still in love with you)

–Still In Love With You – The Latency –

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Love is patient, love is kind.

No it isn’t. Love is being a complete bitch and I don’t know how to reach her. She has no patience and she seems to see the world so differently to me. We argue, constantly, each of us trying to win. Both of us losing. As for kindness…love saved the life of a stranger, held the hand of a sad memory but she doesn’t seem to know how to save us.

It does not envy, it does not boast,

For once in my life I want what my parents have, what her parents have. I never thought I would want something so bad. She makes me want that. Up until now I thought my biggest problem would be keeping our love to myself. I wanted to shout it out to the world. Our love had other ideas, took on a voice of its own and started shouting out to the world, making us do stupid, reckless things. I am not sure how to shut love up or even if I want to.

It is not proud.

But is it too proud to admit when it is wrong? I don’t know. She didn’t want to be in love and I forced her. That has backfired on me. I kept wanting to take it slow, she didn’t and now love has become a fire that is all consuming, burning hot and out of control.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

Love may not be but lust is. It was rude of us to make our love so loud and obvious and make everyone around us uncomfortable. Love and lust became intertwined taking on a life of its own. Now we need to reign love in.

It is not easily angered,

Anger comes so easily with the love. In fact, it is always on the other side of the coin, threatening. Our love is loud and strong, our anger is a menacingly quiet whisper.

I keeps no record of wrongs.

I suspect the wrongs have become a long litany of why we shouldn’t be together. My past, her flirtatiousness, my stubbornness, her career path, my secrets, her youth, my experience, her selfishness…not only is there a record – but it is cracked.

Love does not delight in evil

How can this be love when there is so much darkness between us. All things that we are not saying. All the bleak misunderstandings. Love is having a field day with the devil.

but rejoices with the truth.

With every truth, there are ever more layers of what we don’t know and what we don’t say. Is there any possibility that if we absolutely laid our souls bare to each other that we would find love in the truth?

It always protects, always trusts,

I would protect her, protect our love and those we love to the end of time. If only she would trust me. If only I could trust her.

always hopes, always perseveres.

She tries my patience but I don’t want to lose hope. I will persevere, because now there is no other choice for me. I will love her with my dying breath. A love I never believed I would find with any one. A love so intense it is unreasonable and indestructible.

Love never fails.

I want to believe this with all of my heart, because there is no longer any choice for a life without her. Failure is not an option.

– The Bible : 1 Corinthians 13:4 –