Fuck Marilyn Monroe

Essa does it again. Brilliant as always. I gave up poetry in favor of the more commercial song lyrics route. I pretty much sucked at both but at least I got paid for the lyrics. As Marilyn, I love her because she was for the most part, a real size woman and not a stick figure like Angelina. I wonder if Marilyn would have made it in today’s Hollyweird. Probably not. But without Marilyn, we would have never had thousands of shocking renditions of Happy Birthday, Mr President and ground air vents would have been a nuisance rather than a tool for seduction.

Essa On Everything

The first sentence says it all. Today is the very last time I will be forced to tolerate some woman telling me how much she loves Marilyn Monroe, or god fucking forbid, considers Marilyn Monroe some kind of role model.

If I had known Marilyn Monroe in real life, not only would I have hated her as a person, I probably would have bitch slapped her, just for posterity’s sake. Here’s why I hate Marilyn, in no particular order.

She wrote poetry

Yeah, I wrote poetry too, but then I grew out of my teen angst stage and stopped shopping at Hot Topix. Whenever some new writer emails me and says “I’m having trouble making sales on my poetry book’ I always say to them, ‘have you considered selling the paper you wrote your poems on to a recycling center?”

Yup, I hate poets. Poetry writing is the biggest exercise…

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