Dear Lashell Collins posted today about being a romance junkie and our need to indulge in fictional boyfriends. A new blogging and fan fic friend Rachel J Lewis was also lamenting the need for the fictional boyfriend recently. I sympathised with her plight when she highlighted all the ways that her Significant Other wasn’t quite matching up to those between the page Princes that we know and love. But I have to admit, that after the
week month from hell, my experience was somewhat different and when life smacks me in the face, my fictional boyfriends don’t quite cut it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a romantic fictional alpha as much as the next girl but not as a replacement for the real thing. More as an enhancement of the real thing because when it comes down to it, the prince in your arms is worth two on the pages.
So here is my Tribute to SuperGeek.
First, I have to tell you about my life at the moment.
My work is more stressful than it has any right to be but mostly it is that way because of a system that quite frankly likes to fuck with people’s minds and lives. Consequently, I have been working 14 hour days for most of the past four weeks (because these things come in waves) and pretty much 7 days a week. In fact, I deliberately snuck off for a mini-break in the first week of June because I knew it would be like this with very little let up before November. Every year for the past four has been like this and I don’t know why this year should be any different. Oh, hang on, yes I do, more students enrolled, more timetabling headaches, more resource dilemmas, more staff to manage and somehow, less time to do everything.
So last week I got to the end of another, particularly stressful week and I broke. Quite literally. When you find yourself sitting on the floor of the shower at 10pm in your good work clothes crying because you can’t get the shower screen clean, then you know there is something seriously wrong.
And this is how I know that I married a prince. First, he wrestled the cloth out of my hand and took me to the couch to wipe my tears and hold me while I cried. Then he made me tea, sent the kids away, turned everything off and talked with me. Listened to all the shit things that were overwhelming me and best of all, helped me make a plan. He helped me to see that I could put one more foot in front of the other but we would do it together and even better, we would do it in the morning. Then he tucked me into bed and he held me all night.
The next morning he brought me breakfast in bed and then my computer so I could start working on those steps. All through the day he checked in, reminding me gently what they were, which order they had to happen and cheering me on until they were done and I could breath again. Oh, and he also made me take regular breaks and got me out of the house to feed me.
That is the way of the Prince. But it isn’t always about those big moments cos that is when you hope that your partner will step up.
No, it is the little every dayness that makes him a true prince. The way that he has taken on the cooking in our household and therefore the shopping. The way that he apologises for being late home if he gets held up past 6pm. The way he knows what deoderant I use, my brand of feminine products, my favourite meals to order out and my brand of tea (even though he never drinks the stuff). He doesn’t complain when I spend money and he takes me out to lunch or brunch on weekends just to be alone with me. He taxi drives the kids on the late night pick ups because he knows I don’t like driving at night. And, I never have to ask him to help out around the house.
Then there are those special things between the two of us. The way he spoons me every night before he goes to sleep. The fact that he still thinks I’m sexy even though I am twice the girl he married. The pride he takes in the fact that I have a doctorate (apparently I am the smartest person he knows and I married beneath me) and I gained it after he wrenched me and the kids away from family and friends to relocate to Australia (I hope he has forgiven himself for that one). The way he touches my face and kisses me goodbye every morning before he leaves for work and the way he greets me with a kiss and makes me a drink in the evening when he gets home to remind me to stop work for a while.
If I had to say what makes him better than my fictional boyfriends? He grounds me, reminds me that nothing is ever really as bad as I think it is and he makes me laugh, every day. That, ladies and gents, is the sexiest damn thing on earth.
Oh good Christ Sasha, can you stick him on a plane to the UK when you’re through? Oh you have THE ONE! Seriously, get him to write this down, the blueprint to helping your OH through the shitty times.
And funnily enough Rachel, the next day he traveled halfway towards you but you can’t have him. Sorry. There is no blueprint. He is one in a million and I thank my lucky stars every day. 🙂 I just wanted you to know that they do exist in RL.
SG is a wonderful husband and you deserve no less. Our nearest and dearest always know what we need. What usgeeks lack in looks we make up for in other ways. Hope your hell week/month/terms gets better and you get more time back to be yourself. You know where you can find me when you need to vent, rant, or share your musings.
He is indeed a gem and I am pretty sure you would be the same for Toni. As to the hell week/month…things went very pear-shaped but that is for another blog.
Good to see you back on your blog. Just take a deep breath, don’t sweat the small stuff, and soon you will find that its always the small stuff. Just take breather, take a rest, put on your hiking shoes and get ready. I still find inspiration in this book and it has always been my favorite since childhood, so here are few choice phrases.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Sasha, it sounds like you really do have a Prince. Good for you; cherish him. But sadly, some of us self-medicate with fictional boyfriends for a reason. I’ve never heard of Rachel J. Lewis before reading your blog post (and then reading hers) but, now I feel a strange kinship with her. It’s not that my husband wouldn’t support me and take care of me the way yours did. I know that he would. He’s great at offering support. But like Rachel said – sometimes you just need to be kissed and made to feel desirable.
And now I’ve said too much.
I know Lashell, I’ve seen enough friends who are not supported by their OH and have worried for them. As I say, the crisis was one thing but in the end it isn’t stepping up then that makes him special, it’s the little things that remind me every day that I am special in his life.
Sasha, of all the phenomenal pieces you have written, I think I love this one the most! (at least for the moment) am right there with you and aren’t we lucky to have time tested real life loves of our lives? Your SG sounds like all the fictional characters we all read about wrapped up in one loving living tangable hunk of man! Congratulations! and wishes for a speedy recovery from the stress and pressure you are currently going thru! Lurve you and thanks!!! L
Yes, I do believe you and I are the lucky ones, Liz. SG read the post in a bar in Malaysia and he said he teared up. This man never cries. Of course, by this time the pooh had hit the proverbial and he was feeling a little bit powerless to help so I guess he was a tad emotional.
Sasha I think you have found Mr Perfect who is very much or I should say deeply in love with you. There are not many around that are so caring and loving as he seems to be. Sorry to hear about all your stress and worries and hopefully things will work out better for you.
Yes, he is wonderful Sheila. I am very lucky to have him.
SG sounds like a lovely man. Now it is a matter of simple steps and time and you will be back to your bubbly self!
You couldn’t have given a better euphemism for what happened next CD, as you know. On the mend now though and getting lots of TLC.
Yeah I do know (Conspiratorial wink) and so grateful to SG, SB and MM for looking after you when you really need it.
TLC has to be the best when it comes from the one’s you love, enjoy it!
Sounds like the perfect prince charming….
He certainly is. 🙂
God bless the two of you Sasha and Super Geek. Hang in there. You will be in my prayers.
Thanks Chris, and many happy returnables to you, my sweet.
Totally relate to you here on the shower scene doll. Yup, RL bites hard sometimes (I took 8-hours one day to find a pair of shoes…)
Time for me to SG the dinner up tonight.
It always helps to know that I am not alone. Downside is that I ended up in hospital for two days just after this, upside is there is nothing too serious so hopefully feeling like crap can become a thing of the past soon. 🙂