“How is she really?” I scrape food off the plates before loading the dishwasher. Christian dismissed Gail long ago saying that we would handle the clean up. Since Elliot and Ana prepped it seems only fair that Christian and I clean up, given our lack of any real skill in the kitchen. Yet another trait we share.
His hands grip the bench. “She’s so fucking strong. You know she tried to go back to work yesterday.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. Can’t keep a good woman down.” I want to make light of it but Christian’s mood won’t allow for that.
“I was so fucking scared, Kate. My whole world revolves around her and I will never forgive myself for such a colossal fuck up.”
I place my hand over his. “Christian, you didn’t ask for this. Sure you could have been more together about the baby but would it really have made any difference? Jack pushed the one button Ana couldn’t ignore. Family. She would walk through fire for someone she loves. That wasn’t your fault.”
“Not what you thought on the weekend.”
“Yeah, well, you were an ass. I didn’t know the rest.”
“Kate, I really am sorry for your loss. If I had known…”
“Don’t sweat it. Believe it or not, your insensitivity pushed me in a direction I needed to go. Scared the crap out of Elliot but in the end it actually helped. I know it’ll piss you off no end, but I think you might have inadvertently saved me.”
He regards me for a while. He doesn’t need to ask what I mean by that statement. He’s obviously been there a time or two himself.
“You know, Kate, I don’t hate you.” News to me, Grey.