Over the past few weeks I had no idea how much the pain was holding me still. I had chosen not to tell Ana about the baby, justifying it in my mind as not wanting to inflict a pain I didn’t understand that might undermine my best friend’s happiness. She wasn’t the only person I shut out. I barely spoke to my mother about it, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes. The few conversations that had reached me, Grace, Elliot, John Flynn had barely scratched the surface of what I was really feeling but with each one I had convinced myself that I was dealing with it all. That I had it under control. The truth was I couldn’t have told them when I didn’t understand it myself? All I know is that this morning my mind had unleashed hell, or Christian had triggered it for me, and somehow, in the aftermath, my heart felt lighter. But now I needed to seek their forgiveness.