Sex Toys are f**king everywhere. They are useful, colorful, inventive, eco-friendly and sometimes just wrong. Here is a small selection of products for your ‘pleasure’.

This is the eco-friendly vibrator. Apparently it is made of biodegradable plastic and rather than running on batteries you wind up the crank handle. Unfortunately you have to wind it up for four minutes by which time you have lost the urge to use it.

Next is a dildo on a pogo stick  called the Fantasy Glide (previously Jackhammer Johnson – I kid you not!).  I am not convinced of the logistics of slamming about the room with this up your hotspot but I would imagine one needs to have a panic button handy and very good health insurance.

This one actually holds some appeal.  I like the notion of a teched up self-pleasuring solution.  Often I get bored and would like to read my kindle or stream tv and this is just the ticket.  My only concern is that since this is from Apple, I will have to upgrade both my iPad and my iBod every time they come out with some new charging plug. And anyone who has struggled with their itunes library after a software update will also be hesitant to engage in iSex.

 

This is one of my personal favorites because it highlights the inventive nature of human kind. How simple and effective is this elegant solution not to mention the added bonus of multitasking.

 

 

We must always be careful about where we purchase our toys.  This may not be the smartest idea. Not because it is secondhand with minimal stains but because of the blatantly misleading claim that one size fits all.

 

This I include because it is just wrong.  Hello Kitty vibrators I can accept in some sort of anime manga slashfiction slutty schoolgirl alternative universe but getting off with Woody’s Wood or Buzz’ Buzz just seems like a shitload of Disney Princess gone bad.

There are so many others I have not included.  Please send me your favorites – pictures and links only, I don’t want to have to explain these items to customs officials.  Cheers.