Sex Toys are f**king everywhere. They are useful, colorful, inventive, eco-friendly and sometimes just wrong. Here is a small selection of products for your ‘pleasure’.
This is the eco-friendly vibrator. Apparently it is made of biodegradable plastic and rather than running on batteries you wind up the crank handle. Unfortunately you have to wind it up for four minutes by which time you have lost the urge to use it.
Next is a dildo on a pogo stick called the Fantasy Glide (previously Jackhammer Johnson – I kid you not!). I am not convinced of the logistics of slamming about the room with this up your hotspot but I would imagine one needs to have a panic button handy and very good health insurance.
This one actually holds some appeal. I like the notion of a teched up self-pleasuring solution. Often I get bored and would like to read my kindle or stream tv and this is just the ticket. My only concern is that since this is from Apple, I will have to upgrade both my iPad and my iBod every time they come out with some new charging plug. And anyone who has struggled with their itunes library after a software update will also be hesitant to engage in iSex.
This is one of my personal favorites because it highlights the inventive nature of human kind. How simple and effective is this elegant solution not to mention the added bonus of multitasking.
We must always be careful about where we purchase our toys. This may not be the smartest idea. Not because it is secondhand with minimal stains but because of the blatantly misleading claim that one size fits all.
This I include because it is just wrong. Hello Kitty vibrators I can accept in some sort of anime manga slashfiction slutty schoolgirl alternative universe but getting off with Woody’s Wood or Buzz’ Buzz just seems like a shitload of Disney Princess gone bad.
There are so many others I have not included. Please send me your favorites – pictures and links only, I don’t want to have to explain these items to customs officials. Cheers.
Sasha, I just want to say thank you for such an informative way to wake up. 😉 Loved this post by the way and receiving it in my email this morning made for an awesome morning read. Keep up the greatness!!!
Thanks Nicole. Happy to add to the ebb and flow of use(less)ful information circulating out there. All part of the happy service.
The hand crank vibrator has such a retro feel to it, give it a Steam Punk (brass handle, wood feel, oversized gear) look and call it something else like the Wonder Crank and it could sell well to certain crowds. I did a post on the washing machine and people who have a fetish for the washing machine glad to see other people have found that photo, more washing machine sex toys need to be made. 🙂
I totally agree, more washing machine attachments would make for happier housework! I like the retro steam punk version of the crank vibrator. I’d like to see a design brief for that one!
Maybe I will write one up for my Marketing and my Technical Writing classes. I love making my professors go “What the fuck!” 🙂