That was a multi-sensory thriller! Like Adam, I could almost taste every word and it was delightfully foul. Including the knife-cutting air emissions. You are so right, avocado should not be juiced, it is just wrong. I, too, have the walking, talking how-did-a-tubby-wibbly-midget-like-you-produce-a-super-model-like-that daughter (mine is brunette) who likes to act like a spare conscience. She, however, has not discovered calorie counting and just has a go at me about my need for that extra glass of wine with dinner. I also have the saliva-inducing-marathon-eating-as-sport pseudo-chef husband. I’m sticking with hot sweaty kinky sex as my exercise of choice in 2013, mostly because it embarrasses the hell out of the kids, however, I am behind the 8-ball here since I never bounced back from pregnancy, I just bounced. So make that bouncy, hot, sweaty, kinky sex.
I think you get the idea… see the link to her music at the bottom of this blog.