Why Dudes Don’t Get It

Before I get started on this I need to write a disclaimer.  Dudes aren’t the only ones that don’t get FSoG and nor does this statement apply to all ‘dudes’ because I am sure there are some males out there who are secretly creaming themselves over these books.  However, JasonWrites offered up a challenge for me to explain my comment on his review of FSoG so here goes.

When I mentioned this post to SuperGeek, on our way to do our duty at his company Xmas function, (OMG, watching Magic Danny just about gave me an embolism), he agreed on the following basis.  Apart from the fact that it is no literary masterpiece (for which I thank goodness, because I don’t think I would be posting my own dodgy efforts if I thought that was a prerequisite for needing to tell a story), he felt that it was too much about the emotional aspects of Christian and Ana’s relationship and as a male that was not something he wanted to read.

When I asked him about the sex scenes he was also a little cold on them.  Read more….


5 thoughts on “Why Dudes Don’t Get It

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    Ahh but Jason and I reacted in much the same way but different too. I didn’t love the book but I got it at the same time. He didn’t get it at all. As he and I read it at the same time, part of it was he was really distracted during reading it… well so was I but I am a woman. I can’t multitask. 😉


    • Mmm…multitasking has taken on a whole new meaning for me and I may have to be careful. I can now watch tv, talk to SuperGeek, answer inane queries about the location of sports gear from Mini Me or Slug Boy and write FSoG fanfic at the same time. I am not sure that it is healthy or a catalyst for good literature. Perhaps this is what EL James was like when she was writing FSoG. 🙂


  2. jasonwrites says:

    I don’t feel it’s accurate to say I “didn’t get it at all.” I can understand the appeal to the target audience. To some extent, I can concede the possibility of men being intimidated by both the sexual prowess and perfection of Christian. In the larger view, we men suffer from the fictionalized worldview presented by romantic comedy films. Women (some, anyway) become intractably attached to the “I have one true love out there and he will do anything to have me and keep me” fantasy. Most men simply can’t live up to that ideal, but that doesn’t mean that they cannot offer a loving, committed, happy partnership for life with a woman who will accept that


  3. jasonwrites says:

    … weird, the page refreshed and posted my reply before I was done. It feels oddly metaphorical in some way 😉 Anyway, the likes of EL James, Nicholas Sparks, and a dozen Hollywood directors in-between have preyed on women’s need to believe in this myth. Before you color me a cynic, Rebecca can tell you that I’m much more a hopeless romantic than hopeful pragmatist. All you need is to read my poetry.

    I didn’t mean to take all this too personally, But you did take the time to write a lengthy post (essay, one could say) in response to my query, which I immensely appreciate and respect. Also, I was a literature major and psychology minor, so the points you make here are all quite thought-provoking to me and I will definitely re-read this in the morning when I am actually awake. 🙂


    • Jason, I would never call you a cynic, I don’t know you well enough yet. Any man who is prepared to blog about FSoG (and similar) gets my utmost respect and we hopeless romantics need to stick together. I have been married to SuperGeek for 20+ years, who is a cynical romantic – cynical about the fantasy, romantic in real life but with a healthy dose of humor thrown in. Perhaps the women who like the romantic fiction enjoy being preyed upon by Hollywood. As long as they keep it in perspective and realize that it is fiction and the reality can be so much better. Like I said at the beginning of the essay, I would never apply any of the comments in this post to ALL men. Try not to dwell – I think you probably get it better than most. Now, either I must get back to work and stop playing with my blog or I need go and read your poetry. Know which one I would rather do but essays don’t seem to mark themselves. 🙂


A penny for your thoughts, $5 if they're dirty...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s